Comments on: Depressed about rhinoplasty, any advice?

By: AngelEnt

AngelEnt — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Rhinoplasty is not going to solve your confidence issues & it will not be a new start. Confidence issues are usually deeply embedded. I am sure that your job does not help your confidence level either especially if it’s hard at the moment. There is nothing wrong with redefining your nose surgically. Even though I do believe it will help your confidence, I don’t think it will solve the issues you are having at the moment. I say be patient and wait till May/June. Take each day at a time. Read self help books that can help you in the confidence/self esteem level department. I am currently listening to the audiobook “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. One of the first things he mentions is to not let other people’s weaknesses affect your self esteem or confidence. Just because someone chooses to have a nasty attitude which is clearly their weakness doesn’t reflect who I am as a person and how I feel about myself or anyone else. Their nasty attitude is their weakness not mine.

By: Dancinba

Dancinba — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Hey hun,I was thinking about getting it myself when in a few years (When im a bit older).I think its defiantly something you should do if you are getting depressed and your feelings are growing stronger.It will give you more confidence which will help you achieve your goals in life and just feel better about yourself.Just make sure you have enough money saved to keep yourself while you are healing (I’m not sure if you have to spend time off work) but yeah i say go for it.
Good luck & hope it goes well [:

By: Iggy

Iggy — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

That makes no sense.
First this is not a place to vent, that's what friends are for.
Second, how in hell do you plan to get a nose job without anyone noticing?
Third, people are going to judge you for getting one. People in REAL LIFE.
Fourth, what if it comes out worse ?
Fifth, nose jobs don't cause fresh starts, you need confidence. Your nose isn't stopping you doing anything.
Sixth, surgeons generally don't perform on people with body dsymorphia so if you plan to see one you need to learn how to lie about your expectations from surgery.

By: Dr Jane

Dr Jane — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Hello

Your story sounds very familiar. I have known and worked with people from a range of backgrounds who have opted to change their appearance through surgery. As long as you are doing it for the right reasons, then it can be a good beginning for you. I do agree with the comment about confidence being about more than your appearance, however.

I note that you say you have had a tough year, and your feelings about your nose have grown stronger over the past 6 months. I know that confidence in ourselves is often helped or hindered by our own mood, and stress has a nasty impact on our mood.

I am sorry to hear you say that you "hate the way you look". I hope you are able to be realistic about what will change with the surgery. The nose does have a big impact on our face, of course, and changes which are sensitive to your face shape can make a big difference. It won't change anything else though, so I would urge you to be clear that the changes it does make will be enough to help you turn things around in how you feel about yourself.

It seems that you cannot switch off thinking about your surgery, therefore I think it will help to turn this around so it is useful to you, rather than adding to your stress. I wonder whether you can spend the next couple of months just preparing yourself, taking care of yourself, looking after your body and psychological well-being, getting ready to help the surgery be the best it can? I would recommend you check out some stress management techniques, such as relaxation or meditation techniques; they help your body be at its optimum, and can had a positive effect on how you feel about yourself.

I think you might be helped by thinking about what might help with your confidence too - I often use a technique with people which can help:

Think about someone you really admire - what is it about them that you like?
Imagine what it feels like to be that person - stand like they do, think about their body language, the way they dress, speak, act
Try taking one aspect, and just practise that (either on your own or in public), stand in a certain way, maybe dress in a certain way, how does that feel?

If you just take one aspect of this and practise it a few times, you may start to recognise a change in how you feel about yourself. Keep in simple, nothing too difficult to do. Then notice any changes in how people see or speak to you. Remember, you may be "acting as if" you are someone else, but all this is actually from YOU.

I wish you the very best of luck in your future plans, and really hope that things go as well as they can for you.

Dr. Jane